Lisa's Writings...

2004-01-04T20:55:00.000-06:00

I MOVED MY SITE. IT'S NOW LOCATED HERE.

2003-09-22T20:22:00.000-05:00

(No title yet)
written 9-22-03

You left me without saying good-bye
The day you left, I didn't cry
I held all my pain inside
On that day that you died

Cold tears fall on the floor
As I read over your note once more
Your blood on the paper has dried
And this is when I begin to cry

Two days I cried for you
Not wanting to believe anything was true
I can't help but blame myself
Did I miss your cry for help?

So here I sit in school,
Writing this poem for you
Wishing that none of it was true,
Wishing that I knew

You could have told me how you felt
You could have told me you needed help
I blame myself for not knowing,
I blame myself for the emotions I wasn't showing

At your wake, I held in my tears,
I needed you to comfort me fears
I always went to you when I needed to cry
How could my best friend not say good-bye?

If only I didn't call 5 minutes to late,
Maybe those 5 minutes could have changed your fate
Now that my best friend is gone,
I am nothing but alone

2003-09-10T20:26:00.000-05:00

Simple Mistake
9-10-03

One bad day ruined it all
First I stumble, than I fall
I didn't think twice
But the stinging felt so nice
I griped the razor without a thought
Whispering, "It's all his fault"
Making my pain disappear
As my skin began to tear
I watched as the blood covered my skin
And I went over it again
Then my hand began to shake
As I realized my mistake
So I put the knife away
And thought about the mistake I just made
I sat in the corner and cried
And stared at my blood as it dried
With just a slight stumble,
My whole world began to crumble

2003-09-04T18:10:00.000-05:00

untitled
9-3-03

When you smile at me,
My heart melts
When your soft lips touch mine,
My heart skips a beat

I would do anything for your touch
You don't know how much you mean to me
I can't go a day without talking to you
And every night I wish you felt the same

When your eyes look into mine,
My knees go weak
When your hand touches me,
I smile inside

I would do anything for your touch
You don't know how much you mean to me
I can't go a day without talking to you
And every night I wish you felt the same

Some things I'll never understand
Some things I'll never know
I wish it was much easier,
To say that I love you
-8:41 AM

2003-08-20T23:30:00.000-05:00

Feelings
8-20-03 9:12 pm

I can't, I can't be what you want me to be
No longer can I smile, pretending to be happy
I hear, I hear all the names you call me
Stop hurting me, please.

I can't, I can't stop crying
And yet, I keep on trying
I hear, I hear all the fighting
And I break down from all the lieing.

I can't, I can't keep writing about you
And all the evil things that you do
I hear, I hear nothing that is true
All your lies seep through.

I wish, I wish I wasn't here
So I wouldn't be able to shed a tear
I want, I want to end all my fears
And stop the dark years.

I wish, I wish I would die
No more bothering asking, "Why?"
I want, I want to watch you cry
So you could know what I feel inside.

I wish, I wish it wasn't this way
Because I can no longer stay
I want, I want to go away
Maybe it'll all end in a few more days...
9:24 pm

2003-08-19T14:12:00.000-05:00

untitled
6-6-03

My hands are above my head
I've been beaten so severely I'm almost dead
Bruises have formed
My skin is torn
Blood drips from my lip
My heart beat begins to skip
As my body burns with pain
My trust will never be the same
Tears begin to form in my eyes
As he continues to tell me more lies
He tells me he's sorry
And that he really does love me
But I look away,
Remembering the better days
He kisses my lips softly
And whispers in my ear, "We were meant to be."
When a tear falls down my cheek, he gets mad
He stands up and grabs my hands
My body shakes with each strike he takes
It feels as if my bones will break
I cannot breath,
I cannot see
My skin is red
As it begins to bleed again
Will this pain never end?
When will my wounds mend?
I don't let him see me cry
But no matter how much I try,
A single tear always seems to escape from my eye
But I hold all of my pain inside
He grabs my hair and stares at me
He kisses my lips as they start to bleed
I look deep into his eyes
I see the pain he feels inside,
The lies that he's been told,
Since he was a little boy
The hurt he feels in his heart,
When his feelings were being ripped apart
He tells me he's sorry, but we can never be
And once again he kisses me and then he leaves

2003-08-11T16:15:00.000-05:00

untitled
8-8-03

Dark brown eyes filled with pain
Soft pink lips whispering your name
Crimson tears begin to fall
But you aren't there at all

The tears hurt my eyes
My ears burn from your lies
Innocent thoughts no longer run through my head
My happiness is now dead

The clothes I wear are nothing but black
Confidence is something I still lack
You ripped my heart out of my chest
Now I'm sad and depressed

Your love was never true
I've been through Hell because of you
I knew we wouldn't last
I knew we moved things too fast

You used and abused me
Beat me to make you happy
Tore my body apart
And ripped out my beating heart
I'm glad we're now apart

2003-08-10T15:35:00.000-05:00

Broken Trust
6-2-03

A sharp pain stings my cheek
Burning tears fill my eyes
My heart has been broken
A large lump forms in my throat
His yelling hurts my ears
A hands raises and hits my face
I crumble to the floor
A boot meets my rins
I gasp for air
Blood runs from my face
And then he leaves

I lay on the cold floor
I shiver with fear
I hurt with pain
Standing up on my weak legs,
I slowly wakl to the bathroom
Bending over the toilet, I vomit
Washing my face with cold water
The shock of it all runs through my body
I stare into the mirror
My eyes are filled with hate
I walk out the door

People stare at my bruised face
They thinkg I'm nothing but a disgrace
I wear a sweater, to hide the marks he left on my arm
I hide from the world,
Retract into my own corner
Depression falls over me
I can't look anyone in their eyes
The bruises have healed,
The cuts are gone
But my heart is wounded
And I no longer trust anyone

2003-08-08T14:56:00.000-05:00

Repeating Process
6-2-03 2:29 PM

Waking up all alone
Walking through an empty home
Breathing sharp intakes of air
Sitting and twirling my hair
Staring at the blank wall
Wishing he would call
Waiting for him to forgive me
Hoping he'll see we were meant to be
Napping as the day goes by
Breathing quickly as I start to cry
Waking up all alone
Walking through an empty home
Breathing sharp intakes of air
Sitting and twirling my hair
Staring at the blank wall
Wishing he would call
Waiting for him to forgive me
Hoping he'll see we were meant to be
Sleeping as the day comes to an end
I wake up and repeat the process over again

2003-08-07T14:08:00.000-05:00

I Want To Tell You
8-3-03

There are so many things I wish I could tell you
But the words won't come out of my mouth
There are so many things I wish you could know
But I don't know where to start

I want to tell you how I feel
I want to share with you all my dreams
I want to tell you about everything I see
I want to tell you about every new thought that I think

I want to tell you all about my life
The ups, the downs, and my "Subtle Knife"
I want to tell you all the things I did and didn't do
I mostly just want to tell you that I love you

2003-08-01T01:34:00.000-05:00

I won't be able to post anything tomorrow through Wednesday or maybe Thursday because I'm gonna be bored out of my mind at my grandparents' house. lol.

2003-07-31T15:03:00.000-05:00

untitled
6-11-03

Cool steel cutting across my pale skin
Tears of red begin to drip
A temporary relief
A short high

The cool steel grazes my skin
As I hold the object with a tighter grip
The feeling is only brief
I press deeper into the red line

I breath a heavy sigh
And watch the red liquid fall
But it can't always be this way
As I cut into my vein

This feels so good, I don't know why
I sleep, dreaming of it all
Sometimes I wish this feeling could stay
But the feeling always goes away

2003-07-30T16:59:00.000-05:00

You Are
5-17-03

It seems like you don't give a shit
You're such a good for nothing prick
You're like an itch that won't go away
A good dream that won't stay
A jackass that lies
A sonofabitch that makes me cry
You're a stranger from another land
A bastard, not willing to lend a helping hand
You are my father; I am your daughter
But we have one another
You're like a plague upon this earth,
The pain when giving birth
The heat from a fire,
A hole in a tire
You are everything bad
You are everything that makes me mad
You aren't anything good
You are everything I never understood
You are death upon a baby
You are someone that isn't willing to save me
You are everything bad that I know
You are everything that I wish wasn't so.

2003-07-29T17:03:00.000-05:00

Repeating Process
6-2-03

Waking up all alone
Walking through an empty home
Breathing sharp intakes of air
Sitting and twirling my hair
Staring at the blank wall
Wishing he would call
Waiting for him to forgive me
Hoping he'll see we were meant to be
Napping as the day goes by
Breathing quickly as I start to cry
Waking up all alone
Walking through an empty home
Breathing sharp intakes of air
Sitting and twirling my hair
Staring at the blank wall
Wishing he would call
Waiting for him to forgive me
Hoping he'll see we were meant to be
Sleeping as the day comes to an end
I wake up and repeat the process over again

2003-07-27T01:45:00.000-05:00

I deleted all of the poems I had posted and will start posting newer ones Monday.

2003-04-26T00:05:00.000-05:00

what kind of junkie are you?

2003-02-13T20:13:00.000-06:00

Man, what the Hell is this supposed to mean!!!!!!!!!!!!?

You are not a writer. Maybe you should take up some
other field--like photography or painting or
such? Cuz it seems you really weren't meant for
the literary world.....
...Oh well. C'est la vie, right? We all have our
weak points. Maybe writing's yours, eh?

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